Benchmark

benchmark

noun

  1. A standard by which something can be measured or judged:
Read more at http://www.yourdictionary.com/benchmark#vcdiSLzL77R1AqqA.99

I ran my first race of the season. I almost quit because of someone’s actions. I have never had this feeling while running a race before. Normally I get smiles, waves, and encouragement. This time 2 people almost ruined for me something I love so much.

Let me give you the low down but first a disclaimer: I was in no way planning on winning this race. Anyway I was using my C25K app to run/walk my way through the 5k because let me be honest I am nowhere near ready to actually run a whole 5k. The race started out well. I was feeling really good. Then I noticed what was happening. I was being used as a benchmark. Which is okay. I get it. I’ve done it myself. I follow someone and know that I am doing well if I can keep pace with them. These 2 were not discrete at all and what was most concerning was that it was an older woman and a tween. They would be walking behind me while I was running.  Then when I would get to my walk portion they would run just past me, turn around, look at me, jab their elbows at each other, then smile and/or laugh. What kind of example is being set for the young girl with this woman?!!?

When I noticed this I almost started crying, turned around, and headed back to the start. I felt so defeated. I was being used as a benchmarker! These people were saying to themselves “As long as we can stay ahead of HER we are doing alright”. Let me tell you this made me feel like all the work I’ve done to be healthy was worthless. If people were still looking at me as somebody easily beaten what had I really accomplished? This is where my Mantra comes into the story. I am the storm! I started repeating this over and over. Something in my mind shifted. I was going to make this hard for them. I AM stronger than them. I AM stronger than I give myself credit for. Nothing can stop me. C25K be damned! I took off! I ran until I felt like my lead was big enough that I wouldn’t have to experience their mockery anymore! Then I ran a little more each time the app told me to stop running and start walking.  Needless to say I eventually lost sight of them and honestly don’t know where they finished in relation to me.

Please people if you are participating in a race don’t do this. A benchmark is okay. Looking back constantly and making someone feel inferior is not!

Needless to say I hit a PR. Best 5k time to date at 46:16. Only 20 seconds faster than my previous PR but I am only 2 weeks into C25K and did not run all winter. Based on this my time should improve greatly over the summer.

I just want to share how far I have come. Mostly because just like seeing things in photos makes it more real, Seeing things in writing also does.

5k Times

58:25 9/2014

51:02 10/2014

50:29 7/2016

46:36 8/2016

The first timed event I ever participated in was a 1 mile run. I don’t even know what my time was. I was so discouraged.

Today I finished 89 out of 113. This may not seem great but to me this is amazing! Thank you for helping me realize my potential mocking people! I really appreciate it!

BeFunky Collage

The time in this photo is not accurate. I didn’t stop my timer right away. I was chip timed so 46:16 was the official time.

It was a great event otherwise and I even won a gift card from the course (not for winning).

  1. If you want to know more about this great event let me know!
Advertisements

Vivid and bright

Today I read something that really struck a cord with me. I’m currently reading”Strong looks better naked” by Khloe Kardashian. In her chapter about making the best of everything Khloe shares her Mantra “The soul becomes dyed with the color of our thoughts and I want to paint my soul in vivid and bright colors”.  I love this! I want my soul to be bright and vivid! If every choice I make is with positive thoughts and every action is out of love won’t that nurture my soul? If I do things that make me and everyone around myself happy will it not help my soul be bright and vivid? In a way I have been making small steps towards living this mantra without even knowing it!

I could feel my soul getting black and ugly. I was lashing out at people I care about. The weight of my responsibilities and obligations was getting to be too  much for me. I was not carving out time in this life to take care of myself. After being particularly nasty to my husband one day I realized that I needed to make a change. I started doing yoga. I don’t go to a studio or have an instructor. I simply watch YouTube videos at home. Performing this small act and taking some time for myself has done an incredible amount to lift my spirits. I feel alive and grounded. I don’t feel like a “firecracker with a short fuse” like I have been called in the past. I can’t speak for my husband but I don’t feel like I am releasing all of my stresses out on him anymore either.

I’m hoping my Yoga practice will hold me over until the weather warms and I can start my training outdoors. Once outside training starts I want to keep up my practice. I feel most connected to myself when doing Yoga. Maybe I will even graduate to leaving my home and doing Yoga in a studio someday! We will see….. I tend to be a little flighty like a bird. Bouncing from idea to idea.

“You cannot always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside” -Wayne Dyer

 

The soul becomes dyed with the color of our thoughts (3)

 

Current Stats: Reading 100 quiet moments, weight 266, trying to eat mostly paleo, doing yoga everyday, missing my boys, working too much.

Resolutions

It’s New Year’s Eve the time where everyone make their resolutions for the coming year. In the past my resolution has always been “this year I’m going to lose weight”. Since I started that process in June of this year my resolution this new year will be to Keep doing what I am doing. Don’t let life get in the way. Stay determined and reach your goals. I have 150 lbs to lose and I would like to lose 100 of those by 2016. My second resolution is to make sure I take time to write this blog. I love writing about my journey because I hope it can help someone else get started, keep going, or  be inspired.

Happy New Year!! Hope 2015 is a great year for everyone!

What are your resolutions?

newyear5

On a separate note I’m planning to do the Warrior Dash on August 1st so I’m starting to train now. Last night during my work out I tried the “Captain’s Chair” at the fitness room. A few months ago I wasn’t even able to hold myself suspended on it. Last night I was able to suspend myself and do 2 crunches. I’m going to keep trying to do more every time I am there. For anyone curious this is what a captain’s chair is….13251-slider1

By the end of summer I will be strong and fit!!