- A standard by which something can be measured or judged:
I ran my first race of the season. I almost quit because of someone’s actions. I have never had this feeling while running a race before. Normally I get smiles, waves, and encouragement. This time 2 people almost ruined for me something I love so much.
Let me give you the low down but first a disclaimer: I was in no way planning on winning this race. Anyway I was using my C25K app to run/walk my way through the 5k because let me be honest I am nowhere near ready to actually run a whole 5k. The race started out well. I was feeling really good. Then I noticed what was happening. I was being used as a benchmark. Which is okay. I get it. I’ve done it myself. I follow someone and know that I am doing well if I can keep pace with them. These 2 were not discrete at all and what was most concerning was that it was an older woman and a tween. They would be walking behind me while I was running. Then when I would get to my walk portion they would run just past me, turn around, look at me, jab their elbows at each other, then smile and/or laugh. What kind of example is being set for the young girl with this woman?!!?
When I noticed this I almost started crying, turned around, and headed back to the start. I felt so defeated. I was being used as a benchmarker! These people were saying to themselves “As long as we can stay ahead of HER we are doing alright”. Let me tell you this made me feel like all the work I’ve done to be healthy was worthless. If people were still looking at me as somebody easily beaten what had I really accomplished? This is where my Mantra comes into the story. I am the storm! I started repeating this over and over. Something in my mind shifted. I was going to make this hard for them. I AM stronger than them. I AM stronger than I give myself credit for. Nothing can stop me. C25K be damned! I took off! I ran until I felt like my lead was big enough that I wouldn’t have to experience their mockery anymore! Then I ran a little more each time the app told me to stop running and start walking. Needless to say I eventually lost sight of them and honestly don’t know where they finished in relation to me.
Please people if you are participating in a race don’t do this. A benchmark is okay. Looking back constantly and making someone feel inferior is not!
Needless to say I hit a PR. Best 5k time to date at 46:16. Only 20 seconds faster than my previous PR but I am only 2 weeks into C25K and did not run all winter. Based on this my time should improve greatly over the summer.
I just want to share how far I have come. Mostly because just like seeing things in photos makes it more real, Seeing things in writing also does.
The first timed event I ever participated in was a 1 mile run. I don’t even know what my time was. I was so discouraged.
Today I finished 89 out of 113. This may not seem great but to me this is amazing! Thank you for helping me realize my potential mocking people! I really appreciate it!
The time in this photo is not accurate. I didn’t stop my timer right away. I was chip timed so 46:16 was the official time.
It was a great event otherwise and I even won a gift card from the course (not for winning).
- If you want to know more about this great event let me know!
Saturday after watching my weight climb up to 273 lbs I realized that I needed to stop experimenting and go back to what I know works. I’ve tried paleo, whole30, just watching what I eat, and Primal blueprint. Previously I had huge success using Herbalife, counting calories, and exercising so that’s what I’m back to. So far it’s going really well. I’m doing my 1 week weigh in on Saturday. I will update going forward.
On another note….. I’m planning a weekend camping trip “up Nort” for this summer and I am super excited!
Current Stats: 271.4 lbs, reading The Turn, feeling excited, waiting for it to be warmer
Today I read something that really struck a cord with me. I’m currently reading”Strong looks better naked” by Khloe Kardashian. In her chapter about making the best of everything Khloe shares her Mantra “The soul becomes dyed with the color of our thoughts and I want to paint my soul in vivid and bright colors”. I love this! I want my soul to be bright and vivid! If every choice I make is with positive thoughts and every action is out of love won’t that nurture my soul? If I do things that make me and everyone around myself happy will it not help my soul be bright and vivid? In a way I have been making small steps towards living this mantra without even knowing it!
I could feel my soul getting black and ugly. I was lashing out at people I care about. The weight of my responsibilities and obligations was getting to be too much for me. I was not carving out time in this life to take care of myself. After being particularly nasty to my husband one day I realized that I needed to make a change. I started doing yoga. I don’t go to a studio or have an instructor. I simply watch YouTube videos at home. Performing this small act and taking some time for myself has done an incredible amount to lift my spirits. I feel alive and grounded. I don’t feel like a “firecracker with a short fuse” like I have been called in the past. I can’t speak for my husband but I don’t feel like I am releasing all of my stresses out on him anymore either.
I’m hoping my Yoga practice will hold me over until the weather warms and I can start my training outdoors. Once outside training starts I want to keep up my practice. I feel most connected to myself when doing Yoga. Maybe I will even graduate to leaving my home and doing Yoga in a studio someday! We will see….. I tend to be a little flighty like a bird. Bouncing from idea to idea.
“You cannot always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside” -Wayne Dyer
Current Stats: Reading 100 quiet moments, weight 266, trying to eat mostly paleo, doing yoga everyday, missing my boys, working too much.
So I have been doing weight loss challenges continuously since I started my journey (except when I was pregnant of course). About 5 months post-partum I decided to start coaching challenges which resulted in me not being a participant. I need the accountability that these challenges provided me. I have decided that with the next one that starts on Oct. 12th I will doing weekly weigh ins as well. I will post a picture on Facebook of the scale every week. If this doesn’t hold me accountable I honestly don’t know what will!
These challenges are all online if anyone wants to join and follow my progress!
Click here to Check out the SCHOCKtober Slim down Challenge!
It’s amazing the difference 7 months of hard work and dedication can have on a person’s body.
I know I have a long way too go but every time I get down about things not progressing fast enough I will look at this picture. Most times when I look in the mirror I still see that girl from 7 months ago who was 65 lbs heavier. I feel better than I ever have in my life but sometimes I can’t see the difference. So this picture is my motivation to keep pushing and get another 65 lbs off.