Vivid and bright

Today I read something that really struck a cord with me. I’m currently reading”Strong looks better naked” by Khloe Kardashian. In her chapter about making the best of everything Khloe shares her Mantra “The soul becomes dyed with the color of our thoughts and I want to paint my soul in vivid and bright colors”.  I love this! I want my soul to be bright and vivid! If every choice I make is with positive thoughts and every action is out of love won’t that nurture my soul? If I do things that make me and everyone around myself happy will it not help my soul be bright and vivid? In a way I have been making small steps towards living this mantra without even knowing it!

I could feel my soul getting black and ugly. I was lashing out at people I care about. The weight of my responsibilities and obligations was getting to be too  much for me. I was not carving out time in this life to take care of myself. After being particularly nasty to my husband one day I realized that I needed to make a change. I started doing yoga. I don’t go to a studio or have an instructor. I simply watch YouTube videos at home. Performing this small act and taking some time for myself has done an incredible amount to lift my spirits. I feel alive and grounded. I don’t feel like a “firecracker with a short fuse” like I have been called in the past. I can’t speak for my husband but I don’t feel like I am releasing all of my stresses out on him anymore either.

I’m hoping my Yoga practice will hold me over until the weather warms and I can start my training outdoors. Once outside training starts I want to keep up my practice. I feel most connected to myself when doing Yoga. Maybe I will even graduate to leaving my home and doing Yoga in a studio someday! We will see….. I tend to be a little flighty like a bird. Bouncing from idea to idea.

“You cannot always control what goes on outside, but you can always control what goes on inside” -Wayne Dyer


The soul becomes dyed with the color of our thoughts (3)


Current Stats: Reading 100 quiet moments, weight 266, trying to eat mostly paleo, doing yoga everyday, missing my boys, working too much.


Best Shot

I don’t have much to say other than I’m giving it another try tomorrow. I’m going to give it my best shot. Even if it takes me 10 years to successfully complete a Whole30, each try I learn something about myself. I get closer to my goal. Since I will be re-starting again I did weigh myself this morning. I have lost 3.8 pounds since my first attempt. See every try gets me somewhere and one of these times I will get to my goal.

Isn’t that really what this journey is all about?…. working towards a goal? Whether it’s a goal of being more active or a goal weight, we are all working towards something.

Breakfast- 3 eggs and 1 banana

Lunch- Venison back strap and Broccoli

Dinner- Paleo Steak fajitas

Snacks- I can’t even stand to admit what I’ve done



Currently: 263.2 pounds, reading Relentless Spirit, eating a lot of eggs, 16 month old is crazy, Mom life is hard but the best, overall mental status is good, need more exercise, sleep deprived always, anxiously awaiting spring, and loving women’s running mag

New Year

Happy New Year! So it’s that time. The time to proclaim to the whole world my Resolutions for 2017 and then abandon them in a few weeks. I’m determined not to do that. So no extravagant resolutions coming from me. No long list of resolutions either. I actually started my resolutions a week ago and will be continuing them through the year.

My resolutions for the year are rather simple:

Be mindful of portions

Consciously make healthy choices


Focus on moving more.


That’s all folks.



Daily Prompt: YEAR

Envisioning the Finish Line




Close your eyes.

Picture the Goal.


Move Forward.

I started rethinking my physical goals recently.

I know what my personal goals are: Live a more simple life, be a good person, Live how I want to be remembered, and be a woman who is strong in her faith.

But what are my physical goals?

In the past I never gave this a second thought. My goal was to be skinny/ lose weight. Great! Right?! Yes and no. So lose weight. Yay! I accomplished this by losing 100+ pounds. I still have more to go but I think it’s time to start envisioning what physical condition I would like my body to be in at the end of my Journey.

Do I want to be thin and lithe? Curvy and Muscular? Lighter and sporty?

I sat down closed my eyes and imagined myself. I am curvy, muscular, and STRONG when I hit my final goal weight.

I do realize that there is a hitch in my vision. I’m going to have to deal with extra skin. I’m already dealing with it (and the medical effects of it) and I’m only halfway to my goal. So chances are I won’t look exactly how I envision myself.

It’s okay though! I feel refocused now that I can picture my end goal. So how am I going to get there. I love running and will continue to run. It’s great cardio but to increase my muscles I obviously need to make sure I am strength training. Now to think about what I can do daily to get me closer to that goal. BODY WEIGHT EXERCISES. Do squats while watching TV. During downtime at work do wall push ups and triceps dips. Arm circles, good mornings, standing crunches, and the list goes on.

Advice to anyone struggling on their journey: Take a few quiet moments to yourself. Close your eyes. Picture the finish line. Picture what things will look like when you hit your ultimate goal. When you are struggling and want to grab one of the apple fritters out of the break room at work (my current struggle) picture your goal and use that to help control yourself in that moment. Don’t have the energy to get up and work out? See that goal in your mind’s eye and use it to fuel your fire.




Close your eyes.

Picture the Goal.


Move Forward.



How Do You Want to be Remembered

How are we defined? Our roles? Our traits? How do YOU want to be remembered?

First let me say that I have discovered the joy of podcasts. Yesterday was really windy and rainy so my running plan fell to the wayside. I baked and cleaned instead. While I was working around the house I was listening to podcasts ( score for getting personal development completed). Let me just say I found a real gem! During one of the episodes someone posed the question…. “How do you want to be remembered”. I really started thinking about this.

How DO I want to be remembered??

People will remember me as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, employee, etc. But do I really want people to only think about my roles? No. Of course I love those roles and am proud of them but there is more to me. My roles are not the only thing that define me.

I want to be remembered…..

…as someone who was kind, loving, and inspiring. Someone who tried new things and worked towards her goals. A woman who was strong in her faith. Who helped others. A woman who always strived to learn and grow.

Those are the things I want to be remembered for.

Not my roles. Not my worldly possessions. But by my character traits. I want to be remembered as a good person.